How to Be Kind to Difficult People



We have so many concepts about others, and sometimes even before we know that person, we’ve already given them this label: “Difficult.” It’s like a big tag they’re wearing whenever we see them. So I think what’s obstructing us from dealing with them is our prejudgments and preconceptions about who they are. We have so many thoughts about them even before we get to know them. In a sense, this may make you less able to deal with a “difficult” person. And actually, if you take a closer look, it may turn out that the difficult person is you.

Whenever we have a biased view, there’s a big problem, right? When we look at someone with a negative view, a negative bias, then we only see this huge, negative quality of this person––nothing positive. When we’re having a difficult time in our relationship with a partner, for example, we begin to see only the negative side. “His desk is always a mess,” “She’s always late,” and things like that. But in reality, that person has both negative and positive qualities. We magnify one side of that person or another at different times. When we’re first falling in love with someone, we only see the positive. We don’t see anything negative about them at all. Isn’t that nice?


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